Lessons in dating

Some people really just come into your life for a season, but often they are the most impactful. They come to teach you things, to show you what you have not yet healed within yourself, or simply to show you that certain qualities you are looking for in a person are possible.

I just ended things with a girl I have been seeing for a month. I ended it simply because she did not feel like the right person for me. I could give the explanation that I am person that needs a lot of time alone and prioritise myself and my life a lot, but the simple truth is that for the right person you would always be willing to compromise, to make time. And with her I simply did not feel that. There was nothing she did wrong, or things I did not like. In fact she was probably the healthiest and most self-aware and regulated person I have ever dated. But I am learning to not ignore my intuition even if it doesn't make any logical sense. I am learning that a person simply being a good human being does not make them necessarily the right person for you. I am learning to trust and stick to my standards. To trust my intuition and energy when I am around people. To let them guide me. To stop being so scared of conflict or voicing my needs just to keep other people comfortable or pleased. As much as other people deserve their needs to be met, I do too. And I am tired of ignoring them. I am tired of accepting everything just because someone is a good person or has good intentions. That is simply not enough anymore. I never thought I’d say this of myself, but my standards have been way too low. And these past few months, moving abroad alone, achieving so many of my goals alone, spending so much time with myself and loving it, dating myself, it has really brought me clarity that I will no longer make time or pour energy into people or things that do not feel aligned. Just because something is good does not make it aligned. 2026 is all about leaning into that intuition of mine, making its voice stronger, letting it guide me. 2026 is about alignment with all things that help me become the woman of my vision boards.

There were a couple more things I had to shed before the year of the Horse starts. Being firm and serious about my boundaries was one of them. Letting go of things that don’t feel aligned even if there is no logical explanation for it. Considering my own needs and feelings before considering those of others. I hate to admit this but I truly used to settle for people just because they gave me the tiniest bit of attention and comfort. I am starting to honour my standards, what I want in and from a partner. And figuring out the balance between a good person and a good partner. Because a life partner requires both. A person with morals, values, characteristics that you like. But also a partner whose actions make you feel seen, safe, understood and loved.

Some healing requires dating. And while it may not always last, it can still be beautiful.